It was good to have a break from the mommy gig. I slept til 11 am. Although, I did wake at 7 am with the sun scorching my retinas and swat around cos I am so used to Uzi being in bed with. Then I thought, oh wow, did she really sleep all night in her own bed? THEN it hit me…She’s not here. I can go back to sleep. So my scorched retinas and I did.

I was cobweb brained when I woke, but after a few smokes and some pop, I woke up. Fixed chicken noodles for lunch. I’ve written 16 pages in my story. I haven’t done shit towards housework but I really don’t care much.

It’s been a good day. My mood’s been stable, anxiety minimal. I felt good. And even now, it seems to be holding. I think the split dose of Paxil may be doing its thing. I still want to ask her about adding something like Strattera. I’ve been forced by the system to do things in an underhanded way. Yes, I like the idea of a dual antidepressant, but what I like more is, it’s also an ADHD med so if insurance would approve it for depression…It’d totally be winner, winner, chicken dinner time. Like that’ll happen. Luck is a lady and she’s a vindictive bitch who keeps kicking my ass.

So now Bex and I are watching “Freddy’s Dead”, the spawn is asleep, the heat is dissipating…For the first time in awhile I feel at peace.

I know it won’t last because I get so bent over every little stressor but for now…

I’m just gonna go with it.

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