Unwell

It’s been another day of mental illness suckage. You can’t explain it, but you know when you’re just…unwell.

I have been anxious, panicky, down, forcing myself to function and resenting every instant of it. Putting on the functional face when truthfully, I just wanna curl up in a fetalized ball.

I hate it. I don’t know how to fix it. Between coming off Cymbalta and Lamictal, it’s not far out that I am in bad shape here. (Oh, yeah, I took myself off Lamictal, cos frankly that’;s 3 fewer pills to choke down every day and I think the Lithium is fine as a mood stabilizer.) So perhaps I brought some of it on me. 13 pills a day was too much, though. Nine is still too many but one step at a time.

I got hit with an astronomically high power bill which I am sweating. Meanwhile I’m still sitting here freezing my ass off and wondering where all the money we need is gonna come from.

There just doesn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel. Bills are always there, so that’s not gonna change. This mental space I am in, this lack of stability and the bad mental space…that could change and it would make so much difference.

Looks like it’s just gonna be one of those days to be written off because nothing is taking me out of that mental space. Fighting it and failing is making it worse.

Brain reboot via sleep.

Too bad I’m gonna wake up and still be running on Windows ME.

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One Response to “Unwell”

  1. Jut wanted to let you know your not alone. Hope the storm lifts for you soon. Xx

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