Ah, my old friend, Lithium side effects

Been on Lamictal two years, never once had to take it with food. Back on Lithium 5 days and BOOM. Pukefest after taking my lamictal this morning. I did NOT miss this side effect. In fact, it was this side effect that made me go off lithium in the first place because generally, eating before pill times did the trick. But sometimes it didn’t and nausea and vomiting as a way of life seemed a high price to pay for mood stability. I thought taking the lithium at night, after supper and before bedtime, would take care of that aspect. I was wrong. Very very wrong.

Live and learn, I guess. (And for those who have taken Lithium and want to say it didn’t affect you that way- I know, everyone tolerates things differently, but this IS the way it affects me. In fact, this is probably the only real noticeable side effect for me.)

I’m gonna suck it up because the shrink’s idea of better alternatives are Abilify and Seroquel. I can’t say I am against cross labeling meds for different treatments. Lamictal is an anti seizure med, after all, and has worked great for mood stabilizing. But part of me wonders if the doctors are getting kickbacks from the makers of those anti psychotics when they use them to treat bipolar because man, every doctor wants to use them for bipolar now. They didn’t do shit for my bipolar. Come to think of it, they didn’t do shit for paranoia or anxiety, either, so what’s the fucking point?

I went to bed, with the help of trazadone, around 11 last night. Kept waking up. Had alarm set for 4 am. Got up at 4:30 because frankly, it’s been too hot to get anything done any other time. Plus there is the shrieking fighting kid circus every afternoon and evening which makes it difficult to do anything when they’re screeching “NIKI!” every 5 seconds.

Wanted to get a start on things. Got a desktop pc from the shop with corrupted LAN drivers I need to fix, had some research to do on some TVs, pack the munchkin’s backpack for her first day of pre-k, feed the cats, get a shower. Thus far I have done what I can, the computer is just gonna have to wait until I have time to get into depth with the issue. We removed 200 pieces of Malware from that thing. I’d like to beat the guy who owns it, because it is a fully decked Win 7 tower, card reader, boucoup USB ports, everything. NICE. I’d sell a kidney for one and he goes and gets it infected to the nth. (Your IQ must be THIS tall to own a computer, he wasn’t even running anti virus!)

Not even 6:30 am and I feel a sense of accomplishment. Also some anxiety, this is a big change and begins the years long battle of school and all it encompasses. Oddly, my big concern is how it affects my right to dress the way I want. (Yes, I am narcissistic that way but freedom of expression is my thing.) I mean, is my kid gonna get suspended because mommy wore a grim reaper shirt and it gave one of the snowflakes nightmares because they saw it for the 60 seconds it takes me to drop her off? And how will my style of dress impact her social standing? These are things that should not have any impact on me. Yet it does because I love my kid. Damn. I’m a mini van away from being a fucking soccer mom.

The mom who bought into the bedbug lie came to get her kids last night and I just told her flat out about my allergies and offered to get her a doctor’s note to disprove that little brat’s rumor mongering. That woman barely said two words to me. But then she didn’t speak to me at Spook’s birthday party either, I don’t know if that’s just her personality or if there is something about me that rubs her the wrong way. It would be reciprocal because she emanates about as much warm fuzziness as Charles Manson. I don’t like unapproachable people who can’t even be bothered to fake the social niceties thing. If a lazy disturbed psycho like me can fake it, then they can too.

People baffle me.

Hopefully pukeapalooza is done for the day. (Yes, I know, I have oodles of class in the way I express myself.)

Now…Yeah, now what? Oh, yes. Music and chain smoking til I wake the spawn, then fluffy omelet time. (I add water and man, they puff up like monster marshmallows.)

Once I drop her off it’s to the shop. After that, I have to go to Nancy’s to see what she has infected her computer with this time. Fuck you, Vista.

Then home to kids pouncing on us before I even park the car.

I can’t wait for winter. Cold, snow, getting dark early. The depression I can live with if it means a break from this summer anxiety. It’s been hell. I need my world to slow down a bit, become calm for awhile. It’s pretty sad when you’d rather deal with non functioning “kill me now” depression because the anxiety is just so bad.

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