Do you think they will ever find out the how and why of mental illness?

I do so looove reading the literature when I get a new med, or visiting the website.

They all have that cutesy little thing going. “It is not known exactly how (insert med name here) works, but it is “thought” to…”

Yet, desperate little creatures we are, we go ahead and agree to take the meds, in hopes of feeling better.

They don’t know how the meds work.

They can’t really explain why some people’s brains have these alleged “chemical imbalances.”

Some “professionals” surmise that it is all behavioral and depression is simply a choice and mood swings are a learned behavior. (Borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder have many characteristics in common which makes one wonder how many people are bipolar and not being treated properly because some genius professional has declared it nothing more than a personality quirk.)

No one can just grow a pair and admit: WE HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. NONE. ZILCH. WE ARE IGNORANT. CLUELESS.

Furthermore, the professionals can’t agree on much of anything. Psychologists tend to be against meds and want to talk you into being cured.

Shrinks don’t want to talk to you, they just want to shovel pills your way.

Seek counsel with a religious leader and they’re likely to suggest an exorcism.

No one knows shit. No one agrees on anything.

And here we are, grappling with an illness that can’t be explained and is thought fictional by the masses, taking medications that often have horrid side effects and no one knows exactly how they work or what ten or so years of taking them might do…

And the masses think we do this for fun, like side effects and constant misery somehow benefit us and add to the quality of our lives.

To these ignorant professionals and mindless masses I want to say something:

WE ARE WILLING TO GO TO ALL THE DOCTORS AND COUNSELORS AND TAKE ALL THESE MEDICATIONS BECAUSE WE ARE DESPERATE BECAUSE OUR BRAINS ARE SENDING US THE WRONG MESSAGES AND ALL WE WANT IS TO FEEL STABLE!!!!!!!!

If you are wondering what sparked this particular rant…

Well, today around 3 pm, my mood just suddenly, abruptly went south. I don’t mean shifted. I mean, bottomed out, like falling down an elevator shaft. There was no trigger. There was no missed med dosage. Just from out of nowhere I became extremely down and sad. R even noticed and asked what was going on.

And I had nothing beyond, “I don’t know, I just feel very down.”

Another curveball hit around 4pm when random anxiety attacks swooped down on me, causing the whole racing heart, sweating, shaking, paranoia, fear, rolling stomach…Again, no trigger, no missed meds. Just random.

It got me to thinking…

Why, with all of the medications and progress in the psych field, why do we still not have explanations? Why is it all still “this is thought to be caused by” or “it is not known how this works, but is thought to …”

It’s like suffering from The Unknown Illness. We don’t know what it is, but we’ll cook up this book called the diagnostic manual, and we’ll give everything a syndrome or disorder name, and we’ll ply them with meds and they will thank us for the glimmer of hope of feeling better even if we can’t explain why they feel shitty in the first place or why the pills we give them makes them feel better/worse.

And ya know, we’ll make a gazillion dollars charging an arm, leg, and their firstborn up til the patent runs out and people start having organ failure or dropping dead from our drug and we can shove some cash their way…and make up a new drug and rinse, lather, repeat.

Sound jaded? Maybe even paranoid? Irrational?

Hardly.

I don’t discount a lot of pharma companies aim to do good deeds and help.

I also don’t discount that a lot are money grubbing soul less assholes who’d feed their own mother a cyanide/arsenic combo to make a buck.

(My Cymbalta, what the insurance paid, for one month, was almost $400. You do the math.)

Yet they can’t even definitely tell me how this shit works.

And no one can tell me why I feel the way I do, other than “it could be genetic/familial.”

Very comforting.

NOT.

I want to know why. Why does my brain send the wrong messages?

I know I will likely never exactly know why.

But I wonder. Constantly.

 

 

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Do you think they will ever find out the how and why of mental illness?”

  1. “Some “professionals” surmise that it is all behavioral and depression is simply a choice and mood swings are a learned behavior. (Borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder have many characteristics in common which makes one wonder how many people are bipolar and not being treated properly because some genius professional has declared it nothing more than a personality quirk.)”

    It’s true. I was originally wrongly diagnosed as Borderline with PTSD and GAD. The PTSD and GAD are accurate but the Borderline was wrong. Took me 7years of telling doctors for them to listen to me and realise I’m actually Bipolar.

    And the reason they don’t know EXACTLY what the drugs do is because we only really know what 10% of the brain does. And there have been studies and things to show that increasing the levels of chemicals in the brain DO have some effect. That said there are still so many things they don’t know or understand and they do have a habit of just throwing stuff our way and hoping it helps.

    It’s the same with my Fibro. They don’t actually know what it is or why it happens or what is going to happen. They just know that this condition has these symptoms and my symptoms fit.

    Yes some mental health “professionals” are witch doctors and just throw anything at us, some do actually try and help. I always consult my Pharmacist before starting a new medication. Not that I don’t trust my GP who prescribes it, but the Pharmacist deals with medication all day everyday. I trust their experience a bit more.

    • My absolute favorite is when I complain of a side effect to my doctor and she says no, this medication doesnt cause that. Never mind it was on the first page of the damn pharmacy insert. Never mind the pharmacist said it was a side effect. The doctor knows all. Righttttt.

      • That was like when I told my shrink that all anti-d’s I try work for awhile and then just stop. She said it was impossible. That the nature of the medication means that couldn’t happen ever.

        I later found out in bipolar people, the anti-d’s produce a manic episode which swings back the other way after a few months.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: