Panic Attacks+Job Hunting= meltdown

I went out this morning with a fire in my belly, feeling all confident and determined (1.5mg of xanax helped some) and I went to my old restaurant job, but the manager was gone today so I talked to the assistant and she said she would speak to him when he came back.

I went to a pet supply store who is not hiring, but will take applications.

Then I went to five places who said they’re not even accepting applications any longer since they have files cabinets of them.

One place couldn’t even give me an application, told me I’d have to come back after 5pm to talk to the person who knew how it was handled.

Needless to say, the panic, the churning stomach, and the feeling of a pillow being over my face made me decide to call it a day at that point. I still have the appointment with the job counselor lady later, but for now…I need to regroup. Having to locate public bathrooms to combat the effects stress has on my body did not prove beneficial to my mental well being.

Now I have filled out the two aps I did get, and it’s like, they don’t even give you a chance to list your strengths and skills, they just want a detailed history of every misdeed ever done. With bipolar disorder, I’m pretty laden with such misdeeds. It seems hopeless outside of finding someone willing to just roll the dice on me. This town is economically on life support anyway, where you have 200 people applying for one unskilled position. My odds are not good.

But I will keep trying.

And make sure I have plenty of milk on hand to deal with the acid burning holes into my stomach and surrounding organs.

Now would someone get this pillow off my face so I can breathe??????



3 Responses to “Panic Attacks+Job Hunting= meltdown”

  1. *removes pillow*
    Better? 🙂

    The fact that you actually went out there and put those applications in is a HUGE achievement!

    I know in Australia, if you’re over the age of 25 then you aren’t required to tell the employer your age in your application, and they can’t ask. As for “misdeeds” I would image the only ones they’d care about are ones involving being arrested and jail time.

    Just fill out the applications, and remember that you have to meet their requirements just as much as they have to meet yours.

    • Oh, thank you, so much better. Breathing with feathers up your nose is difficult. Oh,wait, that was one of my cheap Wal-Mart pillows, probably had asbestos fiber fill in it.No wonder I couldn’t breathe. :p

      • Despite working in a hardware store, I’m not allowed to advise on removal of asbestos materials. I suggest calling your local council and requesting the site be deemed uninhabitable. No one likes Wal-mart anyway do they?

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