My mood has crashed so far down, all I can think about is slithering off to bed. At 7 pm.
I guess it’s to be expected, I had a good week and a half run where I was busy writing and it fueled my ability to muddle through.
I don’t care about my writing right now.
I only care about how dark my mind is at the moment.
The shrink is putting me back on Cymbalta, at the lower dose. Now I have to wait for the insurance company to approve it and pay for it.
I did a really brave or stupid thing today. I broached the subject of swapping xanax for klonopin. I have lived in fear for over a year based on her lectures about how xanax is bad. Ripping the band aid off seemed like the best way to stop living with that cloud over my head.
She’s not even tapering me off Xanax, which scares the fuck out of me. She says the klonopin will just take over and there will be no withdrawal. I am inclined to think she is wrong.
My kid has gone to bed.
Now…I think I shall go hide under the covers and hope that this blackened state of mental being passes by morning.